Critical Back Seat Reflections

"I'm baby-locked in."

~~ First Semester Ph.D. Student

Hear Lies One

"I've always known inside that you were different."

Substance Abuse

"And you know what?"

Married? Chronic Illness?

"It might have been better if you were a dog."

Autocrat

"Ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do."

  ~~ Tennessee Titan Quarterback, Vince Young

Dis Love of Mine

"I'm not deliberately trying to ignore you."

  ~~ Oedipus (alias)

Sound Judgment

"WHAT ARE YOU, HEARING!?"

Demeaned?

Refuse the premise.

God Business

"If anybody wants to know where the big bucks are, it's in the God business when you really turn up the volume and have the heat and the wind behind you."

  ~~ Frank Schaeffer

Sometimes, I am an Idiot

"I thought I had done something nice for you."

Saturday Morning Hesitations

"I didn't wake up not to go!"

Online Support Rhetoric

"The help button accesses this help."

Don't Knock. Read the Signs.

"Knock-knock jokes are almost non-existent in the Deaf signing community."

  ~~ Ben Bahan

Inauspicious Beginnings

"I know we're not supposed to, but . . . "

Privacy and Dignity, TSA Style

"Clearly, it's invasive."

"To some people, it is demeaning."

  ~~ John Pistole (Administrator, Transportation Security Agency)

Institutional Relations

Nothing personal.

Do as I Say

"I don't read books but I've written three books."

  ~~ Global Photography Educator

Provocateur

"You provoke people or something."

ICMeCU (I Can See Your House from Here)

"I can write a dissertation on why this is but it would only be guess work on my part."

More ASL Life Learning

There's a fine line between PRESSED MEAT and MARRIAGE.

One Thumb Up

There's a fine line between LOVE and BULLSHIT.

Disability Prayer (Another Code Laid Bare)

"Dear Lord, why is there no room for me in your church?"

  ~~ M. Div. Grad

Fairy Convergents

"I'm not alone in my kookiness".

  ~~ Skeeter

Code Laid Bare

Physician, heel thyself!

I don't want a patriarchal physician of any color.

When No One is Looking

"Why are you good?"

Old School, New School

Old School:    If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

New School:  If it ain't broke, I can fix that.

Ethics Committee

"Ethics doesn't care about deception as long as you say you're going to do it."

Self Under Mine

"I know it's all subjective in the end, but . . . "

Institutional Relations

"Nothing personal."

Love Talk

"I know it's hard for you to believe, but I don't look at your crotch all the time."

Ontological Leading Clue

"I like to spread my things all over the house."

    -- House Guest

Nickname Dammit Love

"Dammit, [your name here], you just don't listen!"

More Self-Regulatory Blues

"Then I decided I was going to lead the pack."

    -- Assistant Professor of Philosophy

Doc Talk

"This shouldn't hurt."

Teach Me Badly, Please

"I don't want to train the competition."

    -- Photography Educator

Adult Ed

"You don't care, do you?"

     -- Photography Educator

The Secret is Out!

"If you can figure out how to get into [your opponent's] head, you can make some headway."

     -- Tennis Commentator

Fortune Cookie

"History will tell us as we go into the future."

    -- Iran War Correspondent

Medical Roundtable

"Can we do a quickie?"

    -- Facilitator

Love me; love my dog

"I don't have to imagine it; I know what your wiener looks like."

Self-Regulatory Blues

"It's a bad system, but I like it."

    -- Insider / Trader

Philosophy Lite

"I like my Husserl spoon-fed."

     -- A.B.D.

EA - Disability Student Conference

[Knocks on head]: "Is anybody in there?"

     -- E.A.

Parent-Student Conference

"Dammit, [your name here], if you're going to do a job, do it right or don't do it at all."

Deep Inside the Guild Speak

"Do you fix armpits?"

Strategic Self-Deceit

"I don't know who that person was."

-- Treasurer/Embezzler

Transparent Accounting

"It's easy stealing money from [your organization here]."

-- Treasurer/Embezzler

Bum Posterity 2

"Just really get that essence and that feel."

Bum Posterity

"We want the heinie to look good, don't we?"

More Fun with Family Values

"We're a family here; besides we want to exploit you."

Lost Mail Customer Service

"We'll just pull it out and throw it in the garbage."

Altruistic Self-Promotion

"It's a good thing I didn't talk much, because I already know everything."

I think I must be sounding like a geek, but I'm not.

"What good is being irritating if you don't enjoy it?"

The Truth is Out There

"If you've gone crazy or something, that's something I need to know."

Narrative Flog

"There’s really no excuse for bending facts to support a narrative."

"If you [your verb phrase here],

it would kill your mother."

Invisible Sale

"Does show some where."

High Moral Ground

"You may not like us that much, but look at those guys."

"Word."

No Pressure!

"One day left to support Divinity."

Bad Pick-up Lines

"Let us leave the topic at this point, and pick up here later."

I'm right here -- where I always am.

"I don't need to tell you that . . . [insert subject that you don't need to be told here]."

Like me, buy my stuff.

"[X] liked [X's own business page] on Facebook and suggested you like it too."

Zero Networking

"Sorry, this user already has too many friends."

Virtual Community

• "You may not post new threads
• You may not post replies
• You may not post attachments
• You may not edit your posts."

• "You have no friends".

"I have one of those at home but the back wheels fell off."

"Everybody lies all the time."

To which we now turn.

The older I get, the more I realize; my mind is like a steel rat.

That's cute now,



         but it might not be so cute when you're 60!

And now it's time for a manly pick.

After 50, every year for me has been like dog years.

"I was going to tell you about that."

You're my hand-held device guy -- don't take that the wrong way.

"What doesn't kill you will make you stronger."

"I'm sure there's nothing to worry about."

If it ain't broke, I can fix that.

"I don't know if I can put it into words."

"What would you do if you were me?"

"Every nook and corner of this story has been probed one way or another."

"I hope I get my feel back quickly."

"The worst way to achieve your goal is through frustration."

"How well does anyone know eddy?"

"The person I was is not there any more."

"I'll just flap around their heads like a chicken."

"Snottan if but a when."

"Somebody should do something."

Now it's time to do something else.

"You can actually site through the rear."

"I know I don't need to shower yet because only one of my testicles is sticking to my leg."

"Just doin' my job."

That's enough of that.

"Answer what you're asked."

"This isn't solely an academic exercise."

"You have to pay for my inconvenience."

"No! No! No! No! No!"

"This is not what you think."

"Those who can't do, teach."

"This is my house and I can do what I want."

"You're one of us, and if you're not, we'll let you know."

"I talk in circles to keep people at a distance."

"If I told you what I really think and feel, you'd think I was a bitch."

"What if you're deathly ill or slightly deathly ill?"

Thursday

"Are you going to believe what people say about you, or keep hanging on to the heinous, incompetent person you think you are?"

"I don't listen to your words; I listen to your tones."

"We're practically family here."

"What's the point?You have no point!"

"Just have fun with it."

"I just need to play my game."

"What are we going to  do with you?"

"Take some more antibiotics or something."

"What is truth anyway, [your name here]?"

"This is a tricky question; if you don't have an answer, just say you don't know."

"And how is [your name here] today?"

"And what do you do, [your name here]?"

"I'm only joking."

"Don't mention it."

"Everything already has been said."

"It's my experience that you don't want to talk to me."

"Nothing happened, [your name here]."

"Dammit, [your name here], you just don't think."

Subordinate clauses or they will subordinate you.

Uncircle the Wagons.

"What do you want me to say?"

"You taking some good pictures?"

"Everybody lies all the time."

"Do you know what I mean or don'tcha?"

"Tell me something I don't know."

"I think you know what I mean."

"I appreciate that that's your perspective."

Free the eddy.

"Don't you trust me?"